You’re making the wrong sandwich…
Posted by Rich Presta on 08/18/08 in Uncategorized
It’s been a bit since I’ve posted, but I figured you were getting enough emails from me about other things so I didn’t want to overstay my welcome in your inbox.
You know, it’s funny, I get all kinds of emails, and many times people with the fear of driving tend to look at their fear as this other “thing” they need to battle.
There’s no “thing”.
It’s all part of YOU.
And believe it or not, when you want it to go away, you can tell it to.
You may not know how to yet, but you can.
See, when you think of it as an opponent, you’re not recognizing it for what it is…just you.
There’s no little demon running around your brain flipping switches and driving you nuts, although I know it can feel that way.
It’s you. And the sooner you warm up to the fact that YOU’RE the one making YOU miserable, the better off you’ll be.
People avoid it because nobody wants to be the one causing all this grief.
You want to BLAME someone or something else, anything but you.
“Where’s the enemy! I’ll get ‘em! Must be my job, or genetics, or husband, or brain chemicals!”
But the good thing is that when you truly realize that it’s you scaring you, it’s a short hop to understanding that you can choose to NOT do that.
Reminds me of a story….
“A group of construction workers were building a new skyscraper in Chicago and every day they’d sit down on the beams and have lunch.
The first day, a guy named Joe opens his lunch and says, “Oh, no. Not peanut butter and jelly. I hate peanut butter and jelly.”
The next day at lunchtime Joe opens his lunch bag and says, “Not again. I can’t stand peanut butter and jelly.”
Third day comes and Joe once again open up his lunch and says, “Yuck. Peanut butter and jelly again.”.
This time one of the other guys says, “Hey Joe, if you hate peanut butter and jelly so much, why don’t you ask your wife to make you something different?”
Joe replies, “I’m not married. I make my own lunch.”
See, we all make our own lunch.
Next time you get mad about your fear, remember, you made you own sandwich.
Learn to make a different one at Driving Fear.
Leave me a comment…I love to read em’!
Rich
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Kathy D'Angelo | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
That was great,you hit the nail on the head. Your are absolutely right. It helps to have someone be so straight with us.
Thanks,
Kathy
Elizabeth | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Dear Rich,
Your FOD program has helped my fear on the highway tremendously. After driving for over 5 years, I strangely and gradually developed a fear of driving on the highway. I started avoiding the highways completely after I almost got run over(or at least so I thought) in February of this year. By reading your FOD book and listening to the audio portion of the program, I am learning to understand my fear and conquer them headon. This is my third week driving on the highway after over 6 months of completely avoidance of highways.
Thank you so very much. God bless you and your family.
Rich Presta | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Awesome, that’s what I LOVE to hear!
Rich
katrina | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
this has helped me over come my driving fear.thanks
jeannine | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Just funny! Made me laugh and very true. My challenge is trusting myself again….. I know my fear is my own doing, eventhough my Mom has the same thing and I grew up with hearing her challenge that she just accepted and never got over. So I know her fear put the idea in my own head. I was fine highway driving and slowly too much stress in my life got me panicky on highways. I used to drive anywhere and was always so confident. It now has shaken my overall confidence knowing that I did this to myself without realizing it was me perpetuating the problem. How could I let this happen? I don’t trust myself. I am trying to learn to trust myself again and not fight it because I know fighting the fear makes it worse . I am hopeful though. Little by little I know I can do it. I am going through major stress in my life now which again makes it hard to be motivated to work on my highway fear, too! thanks for reading this! I know it is a bit long.:)
Janis Mousa | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Thanks Rich. You are so right. I spend some of my time blaming my neurotic mother for most of my difficulties. Accepting my fear of driving as my concern is a new concept for me.
I am trying everyday to drive. It is a slow progress. I am not having rapid success as some of the responses indicate.
I really like your statement “See you on the road”, because that is exactly where I want to be.
Keep E-mailing me. It really helps.
Janis Mousa | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
I have so much in common with you. Keep trying. Mental imagery and meditation both really help me. Avoiding conflict with other people helps my stress level.
See you on the road,
Janis
jeannine | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
It is so great to know you are not alone in this!! i can’t tell you how many years I knew NO ONe else (except my mother) and was so ashamed. i still hide my hwy fear from most, except my sisters/mom. I just have too much pride AND I don’t want my kids knowing since my mom unknowingly put it in my head. I do not want to take the chance of doing the same thing. Sooo it is hard hiding my secret — I still feel inferior to All of my friends that drive anywhere — thanks for listening. I am glad there are others like me and I don’t feel so alone. I did learn that are far as all fears go — fear of driving is #3.
Rich Presta | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Nothing to be ashamed of and as you can see, you’re far from alone.
Meditation is great, that’s why I include a bonus about it with the program, but I have to admit, it’s HARD for me….
Rich
Linda | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Hi Rich,
I am sitting here at my computer crying my eyes out because I felt so alone I was constantly telling my husband that I was the only one having this insane problem Ifeel alittle bit better knowing that I am not alone I have not driven on the highway in about 20years and now I am so fearful that I dont drive at all,PLEASE HELP SO STRESSED OUT!
Rich Presta | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Hi Linda,
Well there’s no reason to feel alone anymore
My best suggestion is to get started with the program at http://www.DrivingFear.com, or read through all the old posts and get comfortable first.
S | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
This all sounds well and good - but what if you haven’t driven alone since you were 18 and you are now 46? If someone would have told me then that it was a panic attack and it wouldn’t hurt or kill you….I might have been able to drive; however, it went undiagnosed for years…so I walk, ride my bike and hitch rides….:(
S
Rich Presta | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
Well S, that reminds my of a Buddhist saying…
“The best time to plant a tree is 40 years ago.
The second best time is today.”
If you haven’t driven in 28 years, there’s no time to waste.
People have driven again after quite a bit longer than that with the program.
Question is, after 28 years, do you WANT to drive or have you grown comfortable with where you are.
If you’re ok with it, I’m ok with it.
If not, well that’s another story, let’s do something about it!
Rich
Lana | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
It is nice to have something funny to read while at the same time thinking about the fear of driving. It helps keep things lighthearted but in the right direction. Thanks for your comments and advice!
Joan | Aug 19, 2008 | Reply
The other day I was driving down the road. As soon as I approached the car in front of me the car’s brake lights came on. Ok, so I braked too, right? So I notice this car swerving, so I backed off and their speed limit dropped at least 10 mph. So I continued to drive and notice the braking & swerving and the fear of the driver in this car everytime she thought I came too close. Her fear of driving was evident. She signal so I can pass her. So, I pulled up on her driver side and told her “driving fear.com” She smiled and gave me the thumbs up. So when you feel alone, trust me were not.alone out there.